«I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
The first story is about connecting the dots.
I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?
It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.
And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting. It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:
Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.
None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.
Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
My second story is about love and loss.
I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.
I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.
I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.
During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.
I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.
My third story is about death.
When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.
About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.
I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.
This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:
No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.
Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.
Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Apercebi-me hoje de que há imensos palestinianos na minha faculdade. Todos dizem que estão cá com bolsas do Estado Palestiniano (se é que existe um!), bolsas da União Europeia e até dos Estados Unidos. Esta última bolsa dizem que funciona como uma descarga de consciência uma vez que os americanos se sentem de certa forma culpados pelo conflito israelo-palestino.
De acordo com os relatos das pessoas que conheciam ou conviviam com os terroristas dos atentados reenvidicados por grupos islâmicos, todos eles seguem mais ou menos um padrão: eram pessoas integradas na comunidade onde viviam participando até para a sua melhoria, eram pessoas que não faziam grandes alaridos, passavam despercebidas, não havia razões de queixa de nenhum deles, tinham um emprego estável. De um modo geral, eram boas pessoas!
Eu descreveria assim o meu colega palestiniano.
Nunca tinha pensado nisto até hoje, enquanto esperavamos que nos chamassem para um exame oral. Antes de ele entrar ainda lhe dissemos para libertar gás hilariante ou até sarin lá dentro e resolver assim o assunto!
Certo é, que em conversas anteriores ele sempre demonstrou ódio verdadeiro por israelitas que eu até sou capaz de compreender! De certeza que odiaria alguém que matasse familiares e amigos e me fizesse a vida um inferno. Agora, a diferença está na mentalidade islâmica e na mentalidade ocidental. Para os islâmicos, a morte de um civil ocidental significa uma vitória e o contrário não seria interpretado da mesma forma por um português, por exemplo.
Outro facto que me faz espécie são os financiamentos ou bolsas que a Palestina dá a tanta gente! Toda a gente sabe que as células islâmicas são financiadas por grupos terroristas e que têm uma missão - aterrorizar com os seus atentados.
Quanto à profissão que o meu curso proporciona, ela permite a obtenção de produtos químicos de uma forma razoavelmente fácil e justificável! Interessante é o sem número de destinos que se lhes pode dar! A guerra química já começou e eu nem sequer posso levar uma fragrância agradável numa carteira num avião!!!
Claro que tudo isto não me passa pela cabeça todas as vezes que estou com ele, mas acho que vou começar a pensar duas vezes quando ele deixa a mochila no corredor! Enfim, pode ser mesmo uma teoria da conspiração, mas se for deja vu estamos em maus lençóis porque "eles" são cada vez mais!
A minha sorte é que ninguém lê as parvoíces que escrevo!!
«Importa-se de repetir? "passava todos os dias numa perfumaria qualquer e enchia-me de hugo boss elements aqua, que era o que tu usavas na última noite" Encontrado dia 1 Junho, às 17 horas e 15 dentro do Manual dos Inquisidores. Make my day» «E nem acho assim tão estranho continuar a gostar de ti. Além do incontrolável emotivo, continuas a dar 20 a zero a qualquer pessoa no que respeita ao quotidiano. Foi a melhor declaração que consegui. Being as * as a being can be. Miss you a lot. mazel tov» «Gostava de ter aquele sentimento visceral do Caetano quando canta incessantemente Odeio você. Eu resvalo sempre para o racional. E parece-me sempre óbvio não estar contigo. Porque há sempre de parte a parte outras coisas para fazer. Porque a prioridade nunca fomos nós. E a história não escreverá feitos de amor. Deixamos sempre a mala em nossa casa. Nem sequer a pensamos organizar. Acho que é a minha declaração de vencido. Eu que detesto perder. Principalmente por falta de comparência. Beijo»
Vejo-te como um Homem desde antes de o seres. Foste o único durante anos e continuas a sê-lo. Sempre ausente e, no entanto, tão presente. A brincadeira do dá-e-tira é uma constante contigo, sempre foi. És um desconhecido. Não sei o que te motiva, e tenho medo demais de vir a saber. Desejas-me, mas não me queres. Tal como eu a ti.
És platónico e, portanto, perfeito. Estás na minha vida desde sempre, vais estar para sempre. Quero ser igual a ti, mas não sou nem vou ser, porque tu és pureza.
Amas-me, mas não me respeitas, por isso nunca mais me terás. Tomaste-me por garantida, e isso traiu-te, e afastou-me de ti. Sempre quis ajudar-te, mas nunca deixaste, por isso nunca vais mudar. Na verdade, continuas a ver-me como tua. Não percebes que nunca fui. Só quero que sejas feliz. Não és. Sou melhor sem ti.
Somos tão diferentes, e tu vês essa diferença, que me faz ser arrogante sem to mostrar - mas conheces-me tão bem! Acreditas no meu valor, que não conheces. Adoro-te e tenho saudades todos os dias, apesar de nem sempre conseguir mostrar.
És um estranho, eu sou uma desconhecida. Não foi por quereres, mas és fraco demais para assumires que tens saudades minhas, que fui importante, e que a minha amizade te faz falta. Não me lembro de ti, mas acima de tudo, já me esqueci de Nós. Tu também, provavelmente.
És desejo, és acaso, és intenso. Nunca funcionou quando combinámos, e isso libertou-me do sentimento que teria surgido. Não te conheço e não me conheces, mas não me resistes, eu a ti menos ainda. Penso em ti porque me apetece, mas não pensas em mim. Quero encontrar-te, mas não quero, porque sei até onde iremos. E não quero. És a casca que eu quero, a força, o abraço não sentido. Foste verão e noites quentes de cabeça fria. Agora não és nada, mas só até à próxima vez. Eras nada.
Relembro aqui uma das conversas que tive com o meu tio António. Eu falava de pessoas em geral e de como as agrupava pela sua maneira de ser, pelo seu comportamento, destreza e sageza, pela sua bondade ou malvadez, bons ou maus... Eu defendia a dicotomia: pessoas que eu suportava e as que me eram indiferentes. A divisão só acontecia aqui, pois o grupo da indiferença era, obviamente, indiferente.
Pois era no grupo das pessoas suportáveis que a divisão acontecia. Havia várias prateleiras e gavetas: amigos desde sempre, amigos para sempre, amigos recentes para sempre, pessoas da faculdade, dos trabalhos, família com que se pode contar, família, os mentirosos, os que aumentam o ego, os aldrabões que tembém dão asas à nossa imaginação, os que quase nunca se fala mas sempre se retoma a conversa no mesmo ponto, enfim... Gosto aqui (e também noutras "áreas") da palavra "sempre" porque solidifica a confiança que tenho nas pessoas dessa prateleira.
Depois de algum tempo ouvi a melhor definição de todas: "minha querida, para mim, há dois tipos de pessoas: as que gostam de viver e as que não gostam de viver. Eu sou daquelas que gosta e quer viver! As que não gostam de viver carregam nos ombros o peso da sua negatividade e transparecem isso a milhas e às vezes até fazem questão de nos oferecer uns quilos daquilo que têm às costas! Dispenso a companhia dessas, claro está!"
Não consegui responder. A conversa continuou pela tarde fora, como qualquer conversa com ele.
Hoje confirmei que era leal e acreditava na sua divisão ao passar os olhos por um livro em que algumas "famous people" prestam homenagem ao António Alçada Baptista. No texto do Mega Ferreira está uma descrita uma conversa deste género.
